The Family Retreat by Bev Thomas

Author:Bev Thomas
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780571349586
Publisher: Faber & Faber

THIRTEEN

The day after I’d read the letter from the fertility clinic, I dropped the kids off early at nursery and went straight into work. I sat at my desk and frantically clicked the mouse, scrolling down for the referral letter I had sent to the clinic. There was no note from me. No highlighting the sensitivity. No mention of Keith’s six-year-old son from a previous marriage. But most significantly, no request to send the result to me to discuss with the patients before sending the letter out.

When I spoke to the receptionist, she put me through to one of the nurses. He confirmed what was in the letter.

‘Azoospermia.’

‘No sperm at all?’

‘Correct.’

‘Historical – or a recent thing?’

A pause. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘He has a son. A six-year-old,’ I said.

There was another pause, when I imagined he was scanning his computer screen.

‘There’s nothing in the notes.’

‘I know,’ I said, and I felt my cheeks flush.

‘Well, they can do a DNA – but I’d say it’s ninety-nine per cent likely not to be his. I see from his case notes he had cancer as a child. A brain tumour. Some chemo can cause infertility. That’s a possible cause. But we’d have to investigate further. If we’d known at the time—’

In the background a phone started to ring.

‘What’s his partner saying about it?’

‘Ex-partner.’

Another pause.

‘Is he involved? In the boy’s life?’

‘Yep,’ I say.

He made a kind of whistling sound.

The phone was still ringing. It became loud. Almost deafening in my ear.

I thought of him in the reception area. I don’t like being made to look a fool. And then, much later, the thump of his fist on my desk. Mistakes happen, it wouldn’t be the first time. This place is a joke.

He scanned the file. Then told me Keith had told them he was booked to have another test at a private clinic. ‘Most do,’ he said, ‘if they can afford it. Results will be the same. But I guess you pay for the sensitivity of a one-on-one consultation. The tissues and the squashy sofa.’

I felt the sting of shame imagining him receiving the bombshell of a letter through the post.

I sat for a while, then collected my post and admin from reception. There were three calls from a Carol Marshall. Two were left on Monday evening, and one that morning. ‘Is she a patient?’ I asked. When I was told no, I put the messages at the bottom of my already hefty pile.

I felt jittery. On edge for the rest of the day. Concerned about Keith and Nina, but as the day went on, increasingly concerned for his ex-partner and Jackson. It was hard to explain what feelings I was left with.

David was on leave for a fortnight, so in his absence I sought out Stephen, one of the other long-standing partners. ‘Can I have a word?’ I asked.

When I ran through the details, he was wading in before I’d finished.

‘So, he pushed for a referral to Cardiology – and you caved in?’ He shrugged.

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